We don't always get what we want in this life, Miss Rey, but I'll be damned if you disregard what might have been your partner's dying wish by saying it doesn't matter, or by acting like you don't matter when you clearly do!
[His own voice cracks as he struggles with his temper, so quick to flare when he is gripped by that clawing, bestial jealousy. He has thought about this before though, hasn't he? Wondered what reason he would have to go on if he lost his lover? Carlisle knows the answer, knows what depths he'd sink to -- he faced them time and time again in Bear Den, nearly suffocated beneath the crushing weight of his failed lineage, his isolation, and his impending, ever-encroaching demise.
And yet, he is still alive. He kept surviving year after year, knowing he had to use what time he had left to make his amends, to make himself worthy to his goddess... and to himself. He had accepted it would all end eventually before, that he had a limit to his existence; however, now that he has found a reason to not just survive, but to live, he so desperately wants more time, time he knows he will never have.
His death will leave a scar; he has to remember he is worth something, just as Rey is worth more than she knows, or at least gives herself credit for. He has had enough of this self-deprecation from Kate, and he refuses to hear it from Rey, too. His voice is still strained, but softer as he continues.]
Would you be happier were you dead, Miss Rey? Were you no longer here?
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[voice]
Date: 2018-02-05 10:00 am (UTC)[His own voice cracks as he struggles with his temper, so quick to flare when he is gripped by that clawing, bestial jealousy. He has thought about this before though, hasn't he? Wondered what reason he would have to go on if he lost his lover? Carlisle knows the answer, knows what depths he'd sink to -- he faced them time and time again in Bear Den, nearly suffocated beneath the crushing weight of his failed lineage, his isolation, and his impending, ever-encroaching demise.
And yet, he is still alive. He kept surviving year after year, knowing he had to use what time he had left to make his amends, to make himself worthy to his goddess... and to himself. He had accepted it would all end eventually before, that he had a limit to his existence; however, now that he has found a reason to not just survive, but to live, he so desperately wants more time, time he knows he will never have.
His death will leave a scar; he has to remember he is worth something, just as Rey is worth more than she knows, or at least gives herself credit for. He has had enough of this self-deprecation from Kate, and he refuses to hear it from Rey, too. His voice is still strained, but softer as he continues.]
Would you be happier were you dead, Miss Rey? Were you no longer here?