XOqNI

[tongueamok]

Hello, this is Carlisle. I mean, it's not Carlisle as in I'm actually answering you right now, so if you're trying to reply to me at the second, you should probably save your breath because I'm not really here. This is some kind of a recording of my voice, but this is my communicator. I'm going to assume these devices are as common here as they are in other places — not my world, but others, ones more technologically advanced than where I come from— so if you'd like to leave me a message, then you may do so here, or er... Right. Here is fine. So just leave yo— [beep]

Comments

[tongueamok]

Paw plants aren't weeds.

[Flatly.]

[hasitsthorns]

Weed is just. The common name we gave it. I don't know why since I don't think it's actually a weed - maybe it is? - but. Anyway.

What are paw plants, then?

[tongueamok]

It's a type of herb from my world primarily grown by the Forest Folk with leaves that have curved thorns. You know. Like paws.

[Hence the name.]

They're often used for medicinal purposes, many of which were discovered by Pendlebrook Brimstone, the fellow who first negotiated with the Forest Folk to allow for the trade of such plants. It is primarily used in alchemy, though those with knowledge of glyphcrafting can readily enchant it into a tea for the same effect.

[hasitsthorns]

Sounds more like claws to me, but. Sure. I'll take your word for it.

Also, that totally sounds like weed, 'medicinal purposes' and all. Just with a different look and name? Maybe it's your universe's version of it.

[tongueamok]

Yes. Like claws on paws.

[People from other worlds make things so complicated.]

Why do I get the distinct feeling you're looking to use this plant of yours for purposes other than medicinal ones?

[hasitsthorns]

Well, it has 'recreational' use where... you smoke it even though you don't need to.

Kind of like having sex without the purpose of procreating, y'know? It's just fun.

[tongueamok]

Yes, that is what recreational tends to mean.

[NOT GOING NEAR THAT SECOND COMMENT NOPE]

[hasitsthorns]

I'm surprised you know the definition.

[ Shots fired. ]

[tongueamok]

I beg your pardon?

[Said with the exact tone of someone who knows what he heard.]

[hasitsthorns]

I said I'm surprised you know the definition of recreational.

C'mon, man, you're the resident cave grump. When I think of Carlisle, I don't think of the word 'fun.'

[tongueamok]

You hardly know me!

[Not that she's wrong.]

[hasitsthorns]

Yeah, and? That's still my impression of you from what I do know.

Nothing wrong with it, mind you. We can't all be wild and fun.

[tongueamok]

I don't need to be wild and fun, but I'm not a grump.

[hasitsthorns]

That sounds exactly like what a grump would say.

Alright, so. Maybe not a grump. Maybe just a stick in the mud?

[tongueamok]

Can one not be a serious person without being called such childish things?

[hasitsthorns]

Sure. I get called dumb and ridiculous all the time though. It don't bother me. [ But only because those are much better things for people to think of her than know what she actually is. ] Why let being called a grump or stick in the mud ruffle your feathers, dude?

[tongueamok]

Because I've had enough slander thrown at me from complete strangers to last a lifetime.

[And a lifetime for him is short enough as it is.]

[hasitsthorns]

... You do realize there are way more slanderous things to call somebody than a grump, right? Where I'm from, it's kind of like. An affectionate thing, almost. To insult your friends. Not, like, really insult them. Just playful jabs.

It's what I'm trying to do now, by the way.

[tongueamok]

We aren't friends! I don't even know you, aside from that you make charts that no one asked for!

[Oh, she hit a nerve. Either that, or he just likes yelling at people over the phone.]

[hasitsthorns]

We could be, is what I was trying to get at.

[ In the most vague, roundabout way possible. Maybe she would've even tried to apologize, too, if given the opportunity. She's come a ways since the chart. ]

But, hey, that's cool. I get it. You've met your friend quota.

[tongueamok]

It's not a quota. It's that you're calling me things I'm not, and I'm not interested in being anything with someone who can't maintain even the barest sense of decency.

[hasitsthorns]

Well, then, let me know what you're not. I'm sure you think a lot of things about me too that might not be true, so. We're probably even there.

But we'll never know if we don't, like. Talk. Try to be friendly, maybe. Though I guess maybe my way of being friendly isn't... something you appreciate, so. Y'know. I'll work on that too.

I'm sorry about him. :(

[tongueamok]

Right. You do that, and perhaps when you have mastered it, I will be interested in speaking with you further. Or at all.

Until then, good day.

[And that last bit is said with all the warmth of someone who hopes she rots in a hole. Mr. Not-a-Grump is hanging up now. Click.]