tongueamok | XOqNI

Entry tags:

g[hadriel],
ic

XOqNI

Hello, this is Carlisle.

I mean, it's not Carlisle as in I'm actually answering you right now, so if you're trying to reply to me at the second, you should probably save your breath because I'm not really here. This is some kind of a recording of my voice, but this is my communicator. I'm going to assume these devices are as common here as they are in other places — not my world, but others, ones more technologically advanced than where I come from— so if you'd like to leave me a message, then you may do so here, or er...

Right. Here is fine. So just leave yo—

[beep]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh.

[That oh was far more somber than the previous ones. This does clear up a few things, like how Shadow suddenly knew he had this ability. He hadn't thought to ask when the hedgehog was pummeling him while his garden burned all around him.]

What happened to him? The other me?

[Far as Rey is concerned, it's no skin off her nose. But then, she wasn't the one who experienced the compulsion.]

Made sure to put it down. [So plain and matter of fact about this, too.] Couldn't be used by it to hurt others, but couldn't let it wander around to do that shit to someone else.

Oh.

[And that oh is... a little relieved.]

That's- that's good. Not the, ah. I mean, I suppose it wasn't a person so much as a shapeshifter with my, er. No, it's- it's good he's gone. I was worried he might come back, and what he might do if he did.

[There's a pause, then:]

Thank you, sincerely.

[Shapeshifter, clone... It's all the same thing, right?]

It's no big deal, since it looked like it wasn't possible to be controlled by it, anyway.

[But still, she was in very real danger of what Badlisle could do to others, and yet that hasn't crossed her mind despite what had happened.]

[The thought might not have crossed Rey's mind, but it has certainly crossed Carlisle's.]

That doesn't mean he couldn't have hurt you in other ways. Not all wounds are tangible things to be mended by magic or medicine. That he could have forced others to do anything he wanted is a horrifying prospect.

[He takes in a shaky breath. He doesn't want to think about what his double set out to do -- he already has an inkling.]

It is no wonder Shadow took such umbrage with me.

Well, it's a good thing that it wasn't alive long enough to get that far.

[This is the first time she's heard of the whole drama between Shadow and Carlisle. Now it makes sense why he wouldn't rush to the aid of those bleeding idiots on the network.

[She raises a brow, squinting at her phone.] But that thing wasn't you.

[Duh.]

It shared the abilities I am granted by my curse. It might as well have been.

[He says that with all seriousness, too.]

[She gets it -- she does. And that's why she says it again in a firmer tone:]

But. It. Wasn't. You. You're no more guilty of that thing's actions any more than anyone else's who wrecked havoc is.

Edited 2017-05-06 07:54 (UTC)

[There's a pause of about three seconds, a soft sigh, then:]

I am guilty of using my aural compulsion on him before, Miss Rey. I suppose the other me is how Shadow found out. Perhaps he recognized what it felt like, and realized what I had done.

[His voice trembles as bitterness poisons his tone.]

He was angry, and I deserved that.

Then perhaps he should cry a river and get the fuck over it. There are tons of people here who are capable of -- and have done -- some messed up shit. And you don't seem like the type of person who do that sort of thing unless you had reason to.

[Just assuming, here. Then again, Rey isn't always the best judge of character.]

I... had my reasons, but that does not erase my sin.

[More silence. The pause is longer this time.]

Are you friends with Shadow, Miss Rey?

Edited 2017-05-06 08:19 (UTC)

[If he sees it as a sin, then Rey has a hard time believing that he would use such an ability all willy nilly. Knowing the way Shadow is, she can hazard a good guess that Carlisle did indeed have his "reasons".]

No, not really. We're aquainted, and he tried to kill me while he was being controlled, but -- that's about it.

Edited 2017-05-06 08:32 (UTC)

I see.

[That's somewhat of a relief, in a way. He'd hate for Rey to turn on him, too. She's thus far been surprisingly neutral toward the awfulness of what he can do -- has done, even to her friends and family.]

May I tell you something? I don't suppose you are the type to go sharing such things, but... it's hard to tell others for what they may think, or who they may know.

[He's used to being the one people confess to, not the confessor.]

[When you're also someone who has and can do some pretty terrible things, it's hard to judge others who are in similar boats. Particularly ones as repentant about it as Carlisle is.]

Go ahead. Wouldn't really know who to tell, anyway.

[Carlisle cycles a breath on his end, in and out. He wants to hear what someone else thinks about this -- someone not so close to him as Glacius, nor hotheaded as Emily. He cannot talk to Kate now, and might not have even if she was still around. She was friends with Shadow, someone who might take his side in any matter out of personal obligation.

But Rey seems to be an outsider in this, one relatively even-tempered in regards to this matter. Perhaps she can bring some clarity to his mind.]

I had a garden here, one I'd been tending for some time on one of the rooftop. I had plants -- ones I'd bargained for. It was quiet. Safe.

[Well, safe sometimes.]

He sought me out there when he found out -- or realized, rather -- what I'd done to him. He burned it to the ground.

[As a third party who is under no social obligation to side with Carlisle or Shadow, Rey can see why he would ask. She'd call what Shadow did an extreme reaction, if not...

[Well, she did try to murder someone because of a chart. So maybe she's not the best one to judge here. Still.]

What exactly did you make him do?

[The real Carlisle, of course -- not his imposter.]

When the city was filled with fog, he took me to one of the temples. Wanted me to stay for my own safety. I- I couldn't. My goddess would disapprove, but he wouldn't let me leave.

[Sigh. It all sounds so silly, he's sure. It certainly mattered to him at the time.]

I forced him to do so after he knocked me to the ground. I could not stay there, Miss Rey. Not in the house of some other god, some false deity I do not serve.

[Coming from many, safety over piety would be a no brainier. It's illogical to choose uncertain death in the nightmare fog when there was sanctuary to be found.

[Except that Rey had been equally as stubborn at the time. Rey didn't wish to provide the gods the power that her presence would allot them had she stayed at one of their temples. Coupled that with his beliefs, Rey can't say she blames Carlisle having been adverse to seeking out asylum at the temples.]

And that's all you did to him? Just made him fuck off so you could leave? He didn't get any voodoo hangover where he was puking up black shit or anything?

That's not how my abilities work. It's not him who would be 'puking up black shit,' as so you gracefully put it. And regardless of that being 'all I did to him,' it is still a matter of my doing it to him at all. To use my curse against another so willingly is sin regardless.

Do you think you had the chance of fighting him off any other way?

[Doubtful, in other words. She's seen Shadow's fighting and Carlisle, conversely, is hardly a skilled combatant.]

No.

[His answer is immediate. If he didn't know it then, he certainly does now after the beating Shadow gave him in his garden.]

Can't say much about your faith, or how what you did was a sin and whatever. But has it ever occurred to you that Shadow was doing the exact same thing to you by attempting to force you to stay at the temple against your will? Just because he tried through physical force doesn't make what he did any better.

[And Rey is very familiar of what brute force and compulsion feels like. They're not the same, but the result usually is.]

[He hesitates before answering, putting some thought into what Rey says.]

I... no. No, I don't suppose I thought of it that way.

[And paint it as he might that he wronged Shadow, the fact of the matter is that he was wronged first.]

[It's a relief that he doesn't immediately object to her observation. She isn't trying to absolve Carlisle of his guilt -- merely offer an outsider's perspective on the scenario.]

You're not a child; you're capable of making your own choices. The fact that he tried to make that choice for you and then burnt down your garden because you didn't roll over and take it doesn't exactly make him come out of that smelling like roses.

...

Um. Pun not intended.

[And something tells Rey that "talking it out" wasn't an option there, either.]

Edited 2017-05-07 04:46 (UTC)

[There's an awkward sort of laugh on the other end of the communicator. Even with as grim as things look, he can't help but appreciate wordplay, no matter how unintentional.]

Perhaps now, but... I still dominated his will. He holds it against me to this day, and yet he wants me to teach him how to heal. I don't know if I can. I... I don't know if I should.

[And any mirth from that pun dissipates as he continues.]

And I don't know what he will do if I tell him I won't.

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