tongueamok | XOqNI

Entry tags:

g[hadriel],
ic

XOqNI

Hello, this is Carlisle.

I mean, it's not Carlisle as in I'm actually answering you right now, so if you're trying to reply to me at the second, you should probably save your breath because I'm not really here. This is some kind of a recording of my voice, but this is my communicator. I'm going to assume these devices are as common here as they are in other places — not my world, but others, ones more technologically advanced than where I come from— so if you'd like to leave me a message, then you may do so here, or er...

Right. Here is fine. So just leave yo—

[beep]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[When you're also someone who has and can do some pretty terrible things, it's hard to judge others who are in similar boats. Particularly ones as repentant about it as Carlisle is.]

Go ahead. Wouldn't really know who to tell, anyway.

[Carlisle cycles a breath on his end, in and out. He wants to hear what someone else thinks about this -- someone not so close to him as Glacius, nor hotheaded as Emily. He cannot talk to Kate now, and might not have even if she was still around. She was friends with Shadow, someone who might take his side in any matter out of personal obligation.

But Rey seems to be an outsider in this, one relatively even-tempered in regards to this matter. Perhaps she can bring some clarity to his mind.]

I had a garden here, one I'd been tending for some time on one of the rooftop. I had plants -- ones I'd bargained for. It was quiet. Safe.

[Well, safe sometimes.]

He sought me out there when he found out -- or realized, rather -- what I'd done to him. He burned it to the ground.

[As a third party who is under no social obligation to side with Carlisle or Shadow, Rey can see why he would ask. She'd call what Shadow did an extreme reaction, if not...

[Well, she did try to murder someone because of a chart. So maybe she's not the best one to judge here. Still.]

What exactly did you make him do?

[The real Carlisle, of course -- not his imposter.]

When the city was filled with fog, he took me to one of the temples. Wanted me to stay for my own safety. I- I couldn't. My goddess would disapprove, but he wouldn't let me leave.

[Sigh. It all sounds so silly, he's sure. It certainly mattered to him at the time.]

I forced him to do so after he knocked me to the ground. I could not stay there, Miss Rey. Not in the house of some other god, some false deity I do not serve.

[Coming from many, safety over piety would be a no brainier. It's illogical to choose uncertain death in the nightmare fog when there was sanctuary to be found.

[Except that Rey had been equally as stubborn at the time. Rey didn't wish to provide the gods the power that her presence would allot them had she stayed at one of their temples. Coupled that with his beliefs, Rey can't say she blames Carlisle having been adverse to seeking out asylum at the temples.]

And that's all you did to him? Just made him fuck off so you could leave? He didn't get any voodoo hangover where he was puking up black shit or anything?

That's not how my abilities work. It's not him who would be 'puking up black shit,' as so you gracefully put it. And regardless of that being 'all I did to him,' it is still a matter of my doing it to him at all. To use my curse against another so willingly is sin regardless.

Do you think you had the chance of fighting him off any other way?

[Doubtful, in other words. She's seen Shadow's fighting and Carlisle, conversely, is hardly a skilled combatant.]

No.

[His answer is immediate. If he didn't know it then, he certainly does now after the beating Shadow gave him in his garden.]

Can't say much about your faith, or how what you did was a sin and whatever. But has it ever occurred to you that Shadow was doing the exact same thing to you by attempting to force you to stay at the temple against your will? Just because he tried through physical force doesn't make what he did any better.

[And Rey is very familiar of what brute force and compulsion feels like. They're not the same, but the result usually is.]

[He hesitates before answering, putting some thought into what Rey says.]

I... no. No, I don't suppose I thought of it that way.

[And paint it as he might that he wronged Shadow, the fact of the matter is that he was wronged first.]

[It's a relief that he doesn't immediately object to her observation. She isn't trying to absolve Carlisle of his guilt -- merely offer an outsider's perspective on the scenario.]

You're not a child; you're capable of making your own choices. The fact that he tried to make that choice for you and then burnt down your garden because you didn't roll over and take it doesn't exactly make him come out of that smelling like roses.

...

Um. Pun not intended.

[And something tells Rey that "talking it out" wasn't an option there, either.]

Edited 2017-05-07 04:46 (UTC)

[There's an awkward sort of laugh on the other end of the communicator. Even with as grim as things look, he can't help but appreciate wordplay, no matter how unintentional.]

Perhaps now, but... I still dominated his will. He holds it against me to this day, and yet he wants me to teach him how to heal. I don't know if I can. I... I don't know if I should.

[And any mirth from that pun dissipates as he continues.]

And I don't know what he will do if I tell him I won't.

[That's Rey for you -- providing humor in places no one wants it.

[She scoffs at his reply.] If it wasn't you, he'd have done the same.

[Two wrongs don't make a right, sure. But neither does letting someone beat the crap out of you, and Rey has seen what Shadow had done to his "sparring partner" on the network. She wasn't there to know one way or another, but the irony is glaring.]

So, he... threatens you, burns down your shit, and now he wants you to play teacher for him? Don't say he's even holding that stuff you did over your head, too.

[Unbelievable, but not impossible.]

Does anyone else know about this?

[Carlisle doesn't say that Shadow is holding things against him, as he's sure that, from the sound of her tone, Rey already knows.]

I informed Glacius only a short time ago. I... have not been entirely forthcoming with him regarding this.

[Rey doesn't entirely need to ask why. If she were in his place, she'd likely do the same.

[Sigh. But still.]

And you're feeling more forthcoming about it now?

[It seems like an odd course of action, even if she suspects what the reasons might be.]

[More hesitation. Not a good sign.]

... Not particularly, no. I- I only told him because it seemed I- I mean, it was difficult to keep avoiding it. He wanted to set things right somehow, but I didn't-

[Stumbling over his words again, he finally stops for a second to gather his thoughts.]

I didn't want him to know who did it because Shadow was my friend, and... I wronged him. He may have started this, but I- I deserved what happened, in a way.

Between what he did to you and that sparring partner of his, am having the distinct feeling that this guy doesn't know how to treat his "friends".

[Which is rich, coming from Rey, who has very little idea on how friendships are supposed to work. But while she might have her moments, even she knows better than to treat the ones she cares about like that. It doesn't surprise her in this case, though; considering that they're talking about someone who chastised her for not resorting to physical violence against her stubborn roommate for walking around on a bum leg. Because that's counterproductive.]

Can't tell you who to tell this stuff to, but for what it's worth, it doesn't sound like you deserve any of that shit. You don't owe him a damned thing, either.

True as that may be, there's still the issue of what happens if I refuse to teach him, or at least try.

You really think he's not going to give you any choice?

[Not that she doesn't believe him; just making sure.]

[He stifles a sigh, his voice dropping to barely a whisper, as though Shadow might hear through the device no matter where he may be.]

If he's desperate enough to threaten me over it, I don't see why he would.

Threatened?

Take it that's another thing you haven't been forthcoming about with anyone else?

[Because it feels weird that he is with her, despite how their conversation is going. Just... yeah. What is even going on here.]

Oh. Um.

[That'd be a yes, this is another thing I haven't been forthcoming about with anyone else, perhaps even Glacius, who certainly would like to know such things, but I may have skimped on the details when relating this to him for fear of what he may do or what may be done to him. While Carlisle wouldn't consider Rey much more than a friendly acquaintance, it is admittedly easier to tell such things to an unrelated party, especially one who has no need to fear repercussions from a magic-wielding Forest Folk.]

[Takes that as a "yes", she indeed does.]

Look, you shouldn't have to be forced to do fuck all for this guy if you really don't want to. Am not going to just do nothing if he tries.

[Rey hasn't worked out the "what" and "how" parts of that yet, but she'll come up with something.]

[There's something in what she says that gives him pause.]

I'm- I'm sorry, what?

Didn't stutter.

[Ha ha. But really, she's being dead serious about this.]

If he continues pulling that shit on you, will deal with him. Am not going to let that fly. [Rey might be a lot of bad things herself, but inaction is not part of her vocabulary.]

XOqNI

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