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[tongueamok]

Hello, this is Carlisle. I mean, it's not Carlisle as in I'm actually answering you right now, so if you're trying to reply to me at the second, you should probably save your breath because I'm not really here. This is some kind of a recording of my voice, but this is my communicator. I'm going to assume these devices are as common here as they are in other places — not my world, but others, ones more technologically advanced than where I come from— so if you'd like to leave me a message, then you may do so here, or er... Right. Here is fine. So just leave yo— [beep]

Comments

[dedikated]

You think so? [ that gets her to look up and over at him, a brow slightly raised as she takes in that expression - it's awfully similar to the one she felt herself wearing when she visited her aunt and uncle's grave after Marc died. but she won't push it, because god knows that she understands how being pressed to reveal the things you want to keep to yourself feels. ]

[tongueamok]

[He glances her way, catches her eyes watching him, and the corner of his mouth crooks into a nervous smile, his apparent reaction to such things.]

I must, and wholeheartedly. We... all have our demons, after all. Even clergymen.

[dedikated]

[ it's a nice thought, but-

well. ] Guess so. [ although not everyone's comes to life and tries torturing and killing other people. ] Most people's probably aren't so bad. [ see: seriously carlisle your bitching does not come close to this. ]

[tongueamok]

[True. At least Carlisle's vices don't manifest into a monster. It could be worse.]

Perhaps, though I suppose the severity of sin is relative. My point was that everyone deserves at least a chance to make amends. What matters if whether or not one takes that chance.

[dedikated]

How d'you make up for your screw ups? [ that stare she has going on is almost unnervingly intense despite how relaxed her face looks. ]

[tongueamok]

[His eyes meet hers for only a moment before casting themselves away.]

I haven't yet. [He's not sure he really can.]

[dedikated]

[ she's silent for a dragged out minute before finally asking, in a tone that's strangely gentle on her; ]

What were they? [ it's asked in that kind of voice that says you can avoid answering, if you want. ]

[tongueamok]

[It's clear from the look on his face that he's not sure he wants to talk about it; however, as he looks at his flask and takes another swallow, he apparently changes his mind. Whether it's the alcohol, the gods, or just his own guilt pushing him, it's enough that words form in his throat.]

Back home, I exist. I lived when I shouldn't have, and that's been enough to damn my entire family. But- but even here, I have amends I must make to- to people who don't even remember that I owe them. And I don't know whether or not it counts anymore, but I still have to make them. I don't think my conscience will allow me to do otherwise.

[dedikated]

That's shit. [ she says it in the way most people would say 'I'm sorry to hear that.' And, then; ] They don't remember? [ that is strange. Surely most people would remember that, otherwise- ] Might not have been as bad as you think if they've forgot. [ because it's not like this place can mess with people's timelines or anything, Kate. ]

[tongueamok]

[Carlisle's eyes are still lodged somewhere on the floor.]

They don't remember because I suppose it didn't happen to them. Or the thems that are here. Before I was brought to this place, I was already in a world that wasn't my own. Miss Rey was there -- not sure if you know her. Short hair, scars, a pyromancer. Mister Prochainezo, as well. Even an alien much like Glacius. Don't know if you've met any of them here, but I met them in this other world.

[Sigh.] I... wronged them in this other world. And so it is here that I must make amends, as I have no way to go back there.

[dedikated]

[ WELL. That's... new. And confusing. But- ] Met Rey. [ a beat ] And Glacius. [ Which is an understatement, really. Met, battled alongside on several occasions, probably the closest thing she has to a friend here. Yeah. Met sounds about right.

She watches Carlisle as he speaks, pushing her hair off her shoulder as she does. ] Well- [ Hm, there's really only one way she's ever seen to make up for shit. ] What can you do to make it up to them? [ Healing seems like an obvious bet, but-

Hm.

Maybe...? The thought doesn't stick around for too long, though, because it's not like her powers are even working right now anyway. She's not sure she'd trust herself with them if they were. ]

[tongueamok]

I'm not sure there's anything I can do. What I did was grievous—

[Oh, that came out when he didn't want it to. He shuts up, sifting through his words with greater care, his hands fidgeting with the flask.]

The most I can do is try to help them in this world, and hope it is enough to atone for my sins in the eyes of my goddess.

[dedikated]

[ Dude. If she was in a better mood, she'd gesture at herself in response to that. Just broke the murdercave. ]

Then do that. [ Simple as can be, obviously. Her eyes haven't left him yet, still watching his movements until a beat later; ] Why haven't you joined the clinic, anyway? [ That might be a way to begin, if they need healing and he was on duty to help. ]

[tongueamok]

[Even when speaking to one of the people who broke the murdercave, Carlisle thinks of himself and his own actions as worse in some way. He'll figure out one day that all the woes of the universe do not revolve around him.

His eyes flick to her and he stiffens ever so slightly, as though that was a question he'd been hoping he'd never be asked.]

Ah, that... would require me to go to the clinic and deal with, er. People. I've found through my travels that I don't handle strangers terribly well. [Or the unknown. Or anything remotely stressful, really.]

[dedikated]

[ ONE DAY...

The answer gives her brief pause. Okay, that... actually makes sense. Some healers weren't healers if that makes sense - no one would ever ask Faith to go into healing, not because she wasn't good at it, but because she is far better as a figurehead. And some people just don't suit the atmosphere.

Still. She's wondering. Maybe. And that makes her fall silent a lot longer. Could she remember the schematics? Not for the massive thing that left her power exhausted, but the smaller ones - the theoreticals that Dagny discarded because they don't need to waste their powers on something first aid can handle. ]

... Have to learn one day. [ Like she had to learn to not throw up at the sight of blood. ]

[tongueamok]

[As much as Carlisle appreciates moments of silence, that pause of Kate's unsettles him, mostly because he can practically see the gears turning in her head. He's not sure he wants to know exactly what goes on up there, especially when the topic is a subject of discomfort already.

But at least they're not talking about his transgressions anymore. That's an improvement.]

I suppose I will. Either that, or people will likely take it upon themselves to show up at my door with hardly a warning in the hopes of acclimating me to the presence of strangers.

[Kate.]

[dedikated]

[ #YOLO ] Dunno what you're talking about. [ There. Isn't snarking much better? ]

[tongueamok]

If course you don't.

[Said in the flattest tone possible.]

[dedikated]

[ yes. well.

moving on. ] Feeling any better? [ she has, at least, pushed away enough of that guilt that she can stamp down on the stupid ones that want to come out - the ones about cheating on boyfriends she had when she was 15, using fake IDs, those things. ]

[tongueamok]

A little, I suppose.

[Though another swig from his flask would make him feel even better. Just going to take that now and wish it would refill faster. Not that he doesn't have a few things he pilfered from the bar in his kitchen.]

Well, if you do have anyone grievously injured at the clinic at any point, I suppose you could call me as a last resort. It is a long walk down those stairs.

[Mr. Helpful right here.]

[dedikated]

Great. [ That's as genuine a thanks as you're gonna get for that offer, Carlisle. Jeez. ] S'pose I should get going.

[tongueamok]

Right.

[He gets to his feet to let her out all proper-like.]

Should you need me, or, ah... have burdens and are in need of a listening ear, you know where I am.

[Unfortunately.].

[dedikated]

[ eyebrow. rising. at you. ] Sure. [ can you say one word and somehow sound like you mean 'same, you too, ok?' because somehow Kate's tone implies it. ] See you around.

[ or in a few days. ]