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[tongueamok]

Hello, this is Carlisle. I mean, it's not Carlisle as in I'm actually answering you right now, so if you're trying to reply to me at the second, you should probably save your breath because I'm not really here. This is some kind of a recording of my voice, but this is my communicator. I'm going to assume these devices are as common here as they are in other places — not my world, but others, ones more technologically advanced than where I come from— so if you'd like to leave me a message, then you may do so here, or er... Right. Here is fine. So just leave yo— [beep]

Comments

[tongueamok]

[Carlisle sighs. He's heard of people being sent away and it being as though they'd never left home, and of people who returned to their off-world prison, only for years to have passed for them in their true worlds. There are those who return with their memories, and those who don't. What is it that determines who remembers what?

Every time he thinks about it, he just comes up with more questions than potential answers.]

There's so much that's out of our control here. It makes me sick to my stomach... though I suppose, in all fairness, many things do.

[thechoiceisyours]

[Chris doesn't have much experience with the issue here; some people have come and gone that he knows of, some more than once, some remembering and some not. But he isn't so certain that means they're going back to where they came from, exactly.

He sighs as well.]

Yeah, and I'm pretty sure that's uh, bad for like... Coping with things.

[The whole lack of control thing. In fact, he's pretty sure that's the opposite of helpful in trying to deal with the kinds of awful things that happen here and in people's worlds.]

[tongueamok]

It is.

[He flexes his fingers. A lack of control is a major problem for him -- both for him and others, if the events of the previous month were a sign. His voice tightens with worry.]

It's- it's dangerous to not have a certain amount of control.

[thechoiceisyours]

[This is getting close to the original topic they'd discussed about Carlisle's abilities going out of control during the event, and so Chris assumes this is probably at least some of why Carlisle had said he wanted to talk. He's quiet a moment, trying to decide on the best response.]

Your powers were um, actually hurting you because they were all messed up with the event, right? Is that what they always do if you lose control of them for some reason?

[tongueamok]

Sometimes. I've never quite lost control of, ah. Of them like that. It- it depends on what, um.

[His fingers tighten on his drink, and he stifles a wince from the ache that cuts through him.]

It depends on what I lose control of. Which- which abilities.

[thechoiceisyours]

I know you can heal and do um, the glyph thing Em does, but I don't think I know much about any other abilities you have.

[If there are others besides those two, anyway.]

[tongueamok]

I have—

[He cuts himself off. He absolutely does not want to talk about this, but he has to. Glacius knows by his own choice to tell the alien of the full reach of his curse; Kate knows by accident, a slip during a panic. He can trust Chris, can't he?]

I have what— [Hm, nope. Going to try again, and faster. If he just gets it out, it'll be easier. That's how it was with Glacis.] We call it an aural compulsion. The false gods are not the only ones who can force others to do their bidding, and I only have limited c- control of it as it is because why would I ever to— but that is why it is particularly dangerous for me to- to lose what grasp I have, as it is not a danger to me as much as it has been to those around me... if that, ah.

[Makes sense. Yeah.]

[thechoiceisyours]

[Chris is half expecting Carlisle not to answer and that would be fine; he'd said he wanted to talk, but Chris knows that a lot of times that's--pun semi-intended--easier said than done. But then Carlisle explains, if a bit unclearly, but considering Chris starts stammering the moment he's even slightly unsure of himself he really doesn't judge.

He can understand why Carlisle would be hesitant to explain about this, also. He's actually not entirely sure what to say in response, until he thinks about how he'd feel if he had a power like that.]

Yeah, um, if that's not a power you want to use, it'd... Really suck to have, especially if it goes all uncontrollable.

[tongueamok]

It is.

[Whether he means that it's unfortunate to have, or unfortunate when he loses control of it, he doesn't clarify.]

I- I tried to use it against the bear that attacked us once- once I realized what was happening. Why my head was pounding so badly. But I was, um.

[His hands fidget again.] I was afraid that you- you would be caught in it.

[thechoiceisyours]

[Using it against the bear would've... Definitely been helpful, if Carlisle could manage it, as far as Chris is concerned. He genuinely appreciates that Carlisle was worried about catching him in the effects--it's nice for someone to actually consider and care how he feels about things--but at the same time...]

Well uh, don't worry; if we ever get attacked by anything again, I'm giving you total permission to use it as long as you're not running me into a wall or something.

[It's mostly a joke, to try to reassure Carlisle--he looks so nervous--but he also mostly means it. The idea creeps him out a little, but if it avoids them nearly being eaten then he'll get over any creep factor pretty fast.]

[tongueamok]

I can't.

[He shakes his head, his expression hardening as much as he can manage.]

It is a vile ability granted by the curse I bear.

[thechoiceisyours]

[Well, that didn't work.]

And there's no way to like... Totally turn it off or something?

[He's guessing no, considering the curse thing, but Chris is not going to claim to understand magic.]

[tongueamok]

If there was, there would not be such a stigma against the twice-cursed now would there?

[That'd be a no.]

[thechoiceisyours]

[Chris shrugs a little.]

I dunno, people can be jerks for totally no reason at all. It's not like we have magic in my world, but that doesn't stop anyone.

[Or weren't supposed to have magic in their world, anyway. He's pretty sure now that's probably not as true as he'd thought.]

But... Okay, you can't turn it off, which sucks. But does it only um, activate when you're not wanting it to when there's an event or something?

[Like had happened with Sans? If so, then maybe it's a rare enough occurrence that it could just be dealt with case by case.]

[tongueamok]

[His face falls.]

It escapes me when I am overcome by my own fears. To gain more control over it, I would need to practice harnessing it. Purposefully.

[And that'd be a problem.]

[thechoiceisyours]

[Chris hesitates a moment, trying to decide if he wants to say what he's considering, and instead decides to ask a question first.]

If um, you use it on purpose, does it hurt you or the person you're using it on at all?

[tongueamok]

Aside from the ink and the headache, no. Not if used sparingly. I can only assume it doesn't hurt those I- I compel. Some have noticed, and others have not.

[No, Chris.]

[thechoiceisyours]

[Yes, Chris, even if Chris is not super yes about this. Still, if it's harmless and it'd help avoid Carlisle losing control and all the things that go with it, then...]

W-Well, we could um... Practice. Still no running me into walls, though.

[tongueamok]

[He shakes his head.]

I am not subjecting you to my will on purpose, Chris. You're— [the slightest hesitation, as though saying it would ruin it]— you're my friend, and I don't want to- to do that. I will find some other solution.

[He just doesn't know what.]

[thechoiceisyours]

[Despite the subject at hand, Carlisle's response prompts a smile from Chris; Chris makes friends easily and isn't shy about letting people know he thinks of them that way, but he's gotten the impression Carlisle is a lot more reserved about it. So it means more than it otherwise would, coming from him.

But he doesn't call attention to it when he responds.]

Okay. If you can find something else, cool, if not it's uh... It's an option.