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[tongueamok]

Hello, this is Carlisle. I mean, it's not Carlisle as in I'm actually answering you right now, so if you're trying to reply to me at the second, you should probably save your breath because I'm not really here. This is some kind of a recording of my voice, but this is my communicator. I'm going to assume these devices are as common here as they are in other places — not my world, but others, ones more technologically advanced than where I come from— so if you'd like to leave me a message, then you may do so here, or er... Right. Here is fine. So just leave yo— [beep]

Comments

[tongueamok]

Well, it's working. His disguise is flawless.

[Not that Carlisle believes Shadow is the ultimate lifeform for one second.]

[dedikated]

[ the ultimate tiny grouchy fuzzy. although that would get really annoying really fast. "i can murder people!" "no u can't ur a three foot hedgehog wtf."

at least this entire conversation has amused her more than most things have in a while. ]

Not very subtle, though. Imagine he'd be pretty easy to pick out in a lineup.

[tongueamok]

Probably. The Guard would have no problem finding their culprit. Keeping him bound would be the far greater problem, given his skill in apparition.

[dedikated]

That works here? [ It's slightly surprising, given that she's heard of people losing that ability entirely. ] Huh.

[tongueamok]

Should it not?

[dedikated]

Talked to someone a while back who lost that ability. Or one like it. Can't quite remember.

[tongueamok]

Lost it? Upon coming here?

[He'd noticed he'd lost what abilities the Tranquility had apparently granted its passengers, but had assumed that was due to the fact he'd been spirited to an entirely different world, and was therefore cut off from the ship, the source of said powers. Could he lose others, as well? Could he lose those associated with his curse? If they were taken from him, would he still be cursed?]

[dedikated]

Supposedly. [ S h r u g. ] Think they said they could have managed to leave this place.

[ pretty much explains why, right? ]

[tongueamok]

Huh. I suppose they could have, if their abilities were strong enough to reach the surface. That's granted that they didn't accidentally appear in a layer of rock on the trip up.

[dedikated]

[ She leans back in the chair she's sat on with a grimace. ]

Wonder how far down we are. [ It's been on her mind a while, because the atmosphere here lets them live but who's to say all of that isn't created as well. ] - If you could even live on the surface. [ That too. Blowing the place up would be theraputic as fuck, provided there was a guarantee of no cave in but would you even want to go to the surface if people think living underground is a solution? ]

[tongueamok]

[He gets that flask that's sitting on the table, deciding he needs a drink.]

I'm not sure I want to think about what this world might be like outside this cave.

[dedikated]

[ it's a distraction from the thoughts sorrow brought with him, at least? ]

Dreamt about it a few times. Blew a hole in the roof and climbed out. Usually just ended up in another cave.

[tongueamok]

Even your dreams believe us trapped in this place. I suppose they could be worse.

[Yep, that is a swig he is taking from that flask, hoo boy.]

[dedikated]

With how well our last attempt at getting out went, are you surprised?

[ wait. that was supposed to be a the. not. our. shit. ]

[tongueamok]

Last attempt? You mean the mess we just got out of, or something else?

[dedikated]

That one, aye. [ man she is regretting this drinking only water to keep herself sane thing. ]

[tongueamok]

[A pause.]

You... weren't involved in that, were you?

[dedikated]

[ her silence should be more than enough answer for that. the way she hunches in on herself slightly and stares at her feet. ]

Only towards the end. [ her own guilt before the resurrection was bad enough, was enough to make her hide and throw herself into whatever she could possibly do to distract herself or find something that said 'I'm sorry' to the people of this place well enough that she might not feel like shit. but with the added compulsion like an itch she can't reach, the words find their way out somehow. ]

[tongueamok]

Toward the end is when it got worse.

[He cuts back with a scoff immediately, but then his eyes trail to Kate and take in her posture and the silence that had followed his inquiry... and his expression softens just a hair. As someone whose entire life rests upon a foundation of guilt, he knows it when he sees it, and he can't help but feel a modicum of pity for her on that basis alone.

He pushes a sigh from his chest, offering her his flask.]

[dedikated]

[ yeah, fuck it. she'll have some of that, thanks, Carlisle, you're a peach. she hands the flask back after a long drink, resting her elbows on her thighs and leaning forward. her hands run through her hair, nails scratching at her scalp and everything wants to come out right now. everything.

maybe she should just let it. ] Thought I would have learned my lesson by now. [ shit, how many people have to die because of her before she does? ] Any decision I make ends up this way. [ with everything worse than it was before and people dead. that's all she can see right now - agreeing to go into The Agency (ultimately killing Marc for something that still hasn't been fully resolved), the cave in (she was the leader for that mission, she should have got them out sooner and it was only because of Faith that no one died), her decision to abstain from the initial assault on The Agency (coming too late did get Marc killed, her panic meant that he never had a chance to get away), her eventual agreement to help attack The Agency (and the fact that it's still not entirely safe for Superhumans in the UK, seven years after the fact, says everything about how bad the fallout was there). ] Doesn't matter if I try to help or not. Someone always ends up dead. [ maybe all the sceptics at Dagny's training clinic were right, but not because of her hatred of blood. because she is just a monumental fuck up who shouldn't be trusted to run her own life, never mind somewhere as important as a clinic. ]

[tongueamok]

[Carlisle takes his flask back, and after wiping the mouth on the ink-stained bandage that covers his arm, takes another swallow himself. Dwarven ale might not have the best flavor, but the metallic taste is a familiar comfort.]

Have you any way to atone for those deaths? Or are you worried that, through any attempts at atonement, you'll only make things worse?

[dedikated]

[ honestly, it tastes weird, but she can't find it in herself to care about the metallic taste when the burn is familiar enough to ease off some of her feelings.

some of them. ] Tried that. Why do you think I went into clinic work? [ but there's too many of them - from the ones she got killed to the ones that more literally died at her hands - and right now she's not sure she trusts herself to even continue that work. she turns up, but it's more out of habit at the minute, some desperate attempt to stop herself going completely mad down here. someone like her doesn't deserve to be in a position that requires that much trust and responsibility.

maybe she was right. maybe she was meant to grit her teeth and do the things she hated. clearly killing was her only real skill. ] Not sure I'd even deserve the chance. Too many skeletons already.

[tongueamok]

Everyone deserves a chance for redemption, Miss Kate.

[That's said with the tone of someone who wholeheartedly wants to believe it. The fact that such a chance is close to home for him is written across his face, knitted with fine thread into the crease in his brow and the bags under his eyes. He can't say for certain that he's to blame for the deaths of so many others... but he certainly feels that he is. He's been told it enough times to believe it.]

[dedikated]

You think so? [ that gets her to look up and over at him, a brow slightly raised as she takes in that expression - it's awfully similar to the one she felt herself wearing when she visited her aunt and uncle's grave after Marc died. but she won't push it, because god knows that she understands how being pressed to reveal the things you want to keep to yourself feels. ]

[tongueamok]

[He glances her way, catches her eyes watching him, and the corner of his mouth crooks into a nervous smile, his apparent reaction to such things.]

I must, and wholeheartedly. We... all have our demons, after all. Even clergymen.