tongueamok | XOqNI

Entry tags:

g[hadriel],
ic

XOqNI

Hello, this is Carlisle.

I mean, it's not Carlisle as in I'm actually answering you right now, so if you're trying to reply to me at the second, you should probably save your breath because I'm not really here. This is some kind of a recording of my voice, but this is my communicator. I'm going to assume these devices are as common here as they are in other places — not my world, but others, ones more technologically advanced than where I come from— so if you'd like to leave me a message, then you may do so here, or er...

Right. Here is fine. So just leave yo—

[beep]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Resigned to her condition. Living a half life. Those are statements that resonate deeply with the young clergyman, who has long understood his time to be limited, who knows far too well what it is to feel as though his existence is a burden that he'd rather endure than put upon others. As such, he cannot help but empathize with her plight. He doesn't know how dangerous it will be to him, or what risks might come because of this venture; he cannot promise that he will be entirely comfortable with even the process, given his moral qualms, but—

Well, he owes Miss Rey a great deal, and more than that, he knows what it is like to suffer because of a condition that cannot be helped, cannot be cured. If there were some chance to be rid of his affliction, would he not take it? Would he not rather live than to have those he cares for bear his loss?

He knows what they would say, and even with his own cowardice fighting against him... he finds he would say the same.]

Does she know about this? About how much you care?

Ah--

[That's such a way to put it. That she "cares". Rey wouldn't normally say yes, not just about anyone. But, hell, she felt that Rose was someone worth talking from a ledge and Rey was someone Rose felt was worth breaking down the door to impose on her self-inflicted isolation.

[If that isn't caring, Rey is probably doing something wrong.

[She's quiet for another moment, before she can figure out what to say:]

Think she knows enough. I made it a point to her that I would try and figure something out. When Law's methods didn't work...

[Another pause.] I just... I let down Maketh, in the end. I can't let Rose down, too.

I see.

[Carlisle knows the weight of not wanting to let others down, especially those who are no longer around. He has carried the burden of the Longinmouth name his entire life, and as the last of his line, it will die with him -- a final disappointment to his family, and one he will never be able to apologize for. The loss is frustrating even on its best days, and maddening on its worst.

But his family has been gone for some time -- they feel distant, disconnected, literally worlds away. He cannot imagine such a burden if it were his lover instead, or even a friend like Rey herself. Amends must be made when they can... before it is too late.]

I want to help you, but... I need to figure out a way to do this, if it is all right. And speak to someone first. Let them know what I will be doing, in case something should go wrong. Will she be all right for that long?

[Demons are hardy, he knows, but she is unlike the demons from his world. Perhaps there is a difference.]

Edited 2018-01-25 06:52 (UTC)

[The fact that it isn't a hard "no" gives her some assurance, though she'd hate to get Rose's hopes up. She is all too familiar with disappointing others, and this is the one thing she wants to get right. Maybe for herself as much as it is for Rose.]

That's fine. She's been this way for a couple years. Think she can last a while longer.

[God knows for how long exactly Rose is capable of starving.]

And... thanks.

[Hardy indeed. A few days more won't kill her as unpleasant as they may be, and it will give Carlisle time to formulate a plan... or figure out if he can do this at all.]

Of course, Miss Rey. I am forever in your debt, and... on a more personal note, it would do me good to help her, if I can. I know too well what it is like to be damned by a condition you cannot cure.

[At the very least, Rey knows better than to rush Carlisle into this. If what he's implying is true, she would hate to see him hurt himself over this -- especially while he's carrying that "debt" over his head.]

That have something to do with that black shit you puke up when you heal? [So eloquent. But it's the closest thing to a "condition" he has that she's seen.]

The black bile. [Not 'black shit' Rey, they've been over this.] But yes, it does. I am what's known as twice-cursed, and it's... an unfortunate condition, one that will plague me until the end of my days.

[As it turns out, for as much as he keeps to himself, he does have some empathy lingering inside of him, particularly for people -- even demons -- who are suffering from their own afflictions.]

[Sorry, Carlisle. It's always going to be "black shit" to Rey.]

How the hell do you get cursed twice?

[Isn't just once enough? Gosh.]

Once for not dying when you ought to, and again for troubling the Domu to come fetch your spirit, only for him to have to leave empty-handed.

[So apparently, once isn't enough.]

Guess that'd do it. Though I've died before. A lot. So that would probably make me about eight-times cursed or whatever. Lost count.

[Rey, no.]

Perhaps whatever deities are watching over you are more favorable than mine.

[Not bitter at all.]

[She snorts.] Sure, if you could consider being deemed only ever good for killing people and not having any control over my life a thing some favorable god would do, in which case they can fuck themselves.

[Nice.]

[Ouch.]

You are good for far more than killing people, Miss Rey. Whoever gave you such an idea was mistaken.

[Considering the way her relationships had been, Rey really has to wonder. But she'd be a hypocrite to argue, seeing what she's doing for Rose, who had been lacking in her own self-worth no better than Rey. In a way, she sees a lot of her own damned self in that woman.]

Sure. [She isn't really trying to be a sarcastic little shit this time; she's just all out of fight when it comes to this conversation. Besides, she doesn't want it to be true any more than those who try to tell her different.]

Anyway, think that's all bullshit. Who gets to decide when you "ought to" die? If you're alive now, then maybe that's because there still some things you need to do. You've done some good here, after all.

[You'd think they would have more than a few healers here, but. No. And Rey prefers Carlisle over doctors any day. So he's doing something right here.]

[If only Rey could see how that comment made him smile, if only a little.]

I do what I can with what time I have been given, however short it may be. I am alive now by the grace of the Clarity, but people I have met from other worlds have been far kinder than they need be in regards to my affliction, yourself included. It's been... nice, admittedly.

[Rey has a friend in him whether she likes it or not, which comes in handy in those rare cases she needs a pocket healer.]

[That's Rey for you. While she doesn't seem like the type, she can be oddly encouraging and supportive. Who knew.]

Well, people are a lot nicer to me here than home as well. Not that it wasn't earned, but it helps not to be reminded of it every day. [And not to take the life she has for granted, even if that can be hard sometimes.] So, I can see what you mean.

[The vitriol some people had towards her was deserved, she won't lie about that. But she'll drown if she keeps going the way she had the last month.]

You even have people riling up others across the communicators on your behalf.

[Not that he fell for that, of course. Why would he? He wouldn't. Don't be silly. Let's never speak of this again.]

Edited 2018-02-02 04:27 (UTC)

[What.]

Is that what happened?

[Rey didn't dare ask what the hell was going on, but suspected that Atem had something to do with it. Little bastard.]

Well, yes. Did you not know?

[Because if she didn't see how fervently he jumped to defend her, he'd prefer it stays that way.]

A lad with funny hair thought he'd get everyone's attention by slandering your name on the network.

[Sigh.]

Yeah, that sounds like the sort of shit he'd do...

[By "he", she is of course referring to Atem. Also "funny hair" is enough of a descriptor for her.]

I informed him I was not terribly fond of his methods, and that I found them grossly inappropriate.

[Though they apparently worked, as he did show up on her doorstep, so...]

Edited 2018-02-02 06:29 (UTC)

Mn, he means well, even if he's infuriating while doing it.

[Which sums up a lot of people that Rey knows, really.]

Hn. Right.

[Carlisle himself could easily fit that description, especially given how their last face-to-face interaction went.]

I apologize for being, um. A nuisance myself, lately.

[He, too, meant well.]

[It at least has enough self-awareness of that fact in hindsight, or at least cares. It's more than Rey can say for some.]

No worries. It's not your fault. [It's hers, really. Or so she thinks.]

It is, Miss Rey.

[Both of them are, unfortunately, the type to shoulder blame when they ought not.]

I should have let you know we were coming, or thought for one second about what we might find there, but I- I wanted to help. I still do.

XOqNI

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